[Most Recent Entries]
Below are the 14 most recent journal entries recorded in
|Thursday, March 30th, 2006|
Hello, hello! I bet you all thought I was gone! Nope, just waiting for questions, that's all! So, let's get to today's query:Dear Bunny,
A long-time friend just moved away, and I may never see them again. What do I do?
Well, FE, I am sorry to hear about your friend. Sadly, in situations like these is to try to keep in contact via the internet, the phone, and even snail mail. Sometimes people do grow apart, which is sad, but there are ways to remain friends. Remember that even though you may be seperated by distance, phone calls are cheap, stamps are cheap, anbd e-mails & IMs are free. And who knows? Mabye it will be for the best? Until next time,
TTFN, Bunny ^_^
|Monday, March 20th, 2006|
I was brousing thru Ask Arty
to let him know I was back, and I saw a question to be answered that worried me greatly. Of course, I'm not one to step on toes, but I get asked this question a lot myself. So, I'll paraphrase here my usual private response, and I hope the fur in question sees this article before it's too late...I'm am tired of being mistreated, abused, and hurt. What should I do?
Wanting To Give Up
This... Is a difficult question. On one paw, you have to worry that this is a red flag that hints that the person in question is contemplating suicide. Now, history does say that those that threaten suicide are not AS LIKELY to actually follow thru, though they may attempt it and/or hurt themselves as a cry for help. Meanwhile, such a simply typed message does make one think that they are already sinking into depression. This is definatly not good.
Now, to you WTGU, I suggest getting some help. First, I suggest calling the US National Suicide Hotlines. Both are Toll-Free and open 24 hours a day/7 days a week:
Secondly, there are some sites to look into. First is http://www.suicidehotlines.com/
which lists all the numbers in the US state by state for more local help. Also http://www.befrienders.org/
is an excellent list of sites, numbers, and help worldwide of people able to assist those either depresssed or suicidal. Also, find people willing to LISTEN to you... Friends of those who worry their friends may kill themselves, do NOT judge or lecture them. Simply listen and be there for them, offering comfort and warm feelings of friendship or love.
And, if you start to fear for your life, or the life of a friend, please check into a hospital under a suicide watch. It's 72 hours with doctors that can help, and can sometimes be VERY useful. You should not feel ashamed by this. We all need help sometimes, and it's more important to GET that help than to hurt yourself and those who love you. No matter how lost you may feel, WTGU, there are people who care and are there for you, wheather you see it now or not. And they will listen, if asked to. I'll post another article later with questions I've recieved, but... Well, most here know I'm a bit to caring for my own good! Good luck to everyone in this situation, and know that there ARE those who can help. Until next time...
|Saturday, March 11th, 2006|
I've been gone for a long time... But, under pressing requests, I have returned to answer the questions of the furry fandom. I'm just going to do the article here on livejournal, just for ease for me. So, let me see what I can do to help again!Dear Bunny,
I have a problem. My mate online is someone I care for greatly, but I'm scared to meet them. As a female fur, I am worried that he just wants me for sex and/or bragging rights. What would you suggest I do?
Skunk Carryingg A Really Exasperating Delemia
Well, SCARED, this is a serious problem. See, the major problem here is in how well do you know your OL mate? Have you ever talked over the phone? Do you live close or far away? These are things that must all be looked at first. My suggestion is for him to come and visit you, him staying in a hotel as you meet for the first time in a public meeting place. From there, have a date meeting where you can get a feeling for him, and him for you. A tidbit I will use when meeting new people is to have a girlfriend either with me when I meet someone, or have them call me a half hour into the meeting on my cell phone. That way, if I need an emergency out if something feels 'off' or wrong, then I can discreetly excuse myself.
The other problem with long distance relationships is eventually, if things work out, you'll want to live near each other. I suggest making sure, if such a move does happen, taking it slow. If you both love each other, then going slow means many years of bliss together in the long run. Too many are quick to leap into bed and living together, and things need to be taken slow lest you make a mistake. Now, do not be discuraged by worries. Just remeber that in matters of the heart, it's always better to err on the side of caution.I'm a young 14 years old wolf cub. I'm worried because another wolf online wants to fly out and visit me. He's 38, and he says he loves me. All my friends in school are jelious that I have an older boyfriend. But lately he's wanted me to take pictures of myself nude for him to show I love him. Should I be worried?
Young Anxious Pup
Yes! This is showing all the signs of a sexual predator! I urge you to break it off with your online mate and find some boys your own age to play with. A 38 year old man should NOT be flirting with a child of any age, in my opinion. I may get hate mail for this, but children should date children. YAP, I urge you strongly to please stop talking with this individual before you do something you'll regret the rest of your life. If he refuses to let you stop the relationship, please tell your parents or a trusted adult at school like a teacher, librarian, or the like. Please, for your safety, do NOT let this go further!
Until next week (Yes, I'll post next week!), I'll see you all later! And remeber, questions and problems can be sent to email@example.com to be answered!
|Monday, July 5th, 2004|
I have a new e-mail adress.
Starting Friday, I'll start updating again. Sorry for the sabbatical, but life got in the way. As I said, Friday I'll start answering questions again.
|Monday, August 18th, 2003|
|An essay, for once...
August 18th, 2003
Welcome to another week of Ask Bunny! This week's article is a bit different than normal. Actually, it's more along the lines of an essay, but only because it needs to be said. As such, I hope you'll bear with me on this.
A week or two ago, several furs living in the Pacific NorthWest were attacked by a group of individuals weilding a police baton. They managed to fight them off, but these individuals are still at large. So, what was the kindling that caused this? Hate. These furs were attacked by the group because, according to the attackers, they 'looked gay'.
Now, my dear readers, it is offensive that we live in a world where someone is attacked for being different. Yet, sadly, it happens every day. No matter who or what you are, somewhere in this world hates you and wants you dead. It's disgusting, it's deplorable, and people, both furry and non-furry alike, should not have to deal with it.
So, what should be done about it. most would scream about silencing these poor, misguided individuals, but where would it end? I, for one, live in America, and here our forefather -DIED- to give us the right to say what we believe. so, as long as it stays speech, then I support it. Mind you, I may not LIKE or agree what they say, but I refuse to stop them from saying it. But that's not the problem that happened to these furs, is it? No, the individuals who attacked these furs went past speech, and THAT is where they were at fault.
Hatred is a powerful tool. It makes people lose their sanity, their common sense, and drives them to violence. And while I may support free speech until my dying breath, I refuse to support a physical attack against others because of hate. But that still doesn't answer the question of what to do with those who use violence.
My suggestion, and it's just tha, is that these individuals need help. They need counceling. They need to be taught a better way. Look in the inner cities. Gangs who used to kill one another now work together with the help of counceling and community service. Members of differing faiths who used to attack each other have learned to live in peace. It can be done, but only with understanding and caring. Just as those with hate need to learn a better way, those who are hated need to have understanding for those sad individuals whose lives are so deeply trenched in hate. But then again, if those who are hated by these individuals are attacked, it's allways a good idea to fight back. The furs who were attacked fought back and scared away those who wanted to hurt, if not kill them.
In closing, I hope those who attacked these furs are found and brought to justice. And when that happens, I hope they learn how not to hate. How to live with others who are different and live with them peacefully. Just as hatred can be a tool, so can tollerance. Tollerance can rebuild lives, help others come together, and bring peace to the world. And in the end, isn't peace all we want? Thank you, and take care until next week.
|Tuesday, August 12th, 2003|
|After a long delay, August 12th's Article has arrived! ^_^
Well, I've returned, my loyal readers! I apologize for departing, but there was a family emergency that took me away from the net for a few weeks, and then I couldn't get the net to work right in order to update the site! So, as such, it has not been until today that I could update! Also, I would like to thank RamachandranNCS for the lovely e-card as well as the words of worry from those who read the site regurally. With that being said, let's begin with the first letter!Dear Bunny,
I recently moved to a new area and do not know how to meet local furs in my area. What would be the best way to go about it?
Ah, meeting local furries. Well, If you're in America, you can start by using the USA Furry Mailing List
to find a mailing list nearby. Also, there are not only a lot of local furry communities popping up on Livejournal
, but also quite a few areas now have local furry channels on FurNet
But, once you find the locals in your area, where do you go from there? Well, I'd start by sending out a greeting introducing yourself to the local furs and telling them about yourself. Once you do that, you could also casually ask about any local get-togethers that might happen in your area. Most local furry communities have weekly or monthly meets to just touch base and get to know others in the area. This is a great way to get to know those local to your new area and to make new friends. I hope this advice helps, and I wish you the best of luck.Dear Bunny,
Has anyone ever drawn (your persona character)? If not, do you mind if anyone ever does?
Well, AA, I'm just a simple grey bunny, and I'm sure no one would really want to see a picture of me. But I have contemplated commissioning an artist or two to draw some pictures for a few t-shirt ideas. If any artist would like to help me with some promotional ideas I've come up with, please contact me. Also, any and all gift pictures are allways accepted and will be displayed proudly as long as it's kept PG-13.Dear Bunny,
I read your Livejournal Feed, and I was wondering why you have it set that your friends' list is hidden?
Well, I do that for the protection of my readers. I will make no secret that there are certian individuals on the internet who seem to despise furry fans, and I know it's only a matter of time before one of these sites finds this page. Rather than have my readers suffer the slings and arrows they will set forth, I would rather keep the flames aimed directly at myself and let the flood pass safely. After all, why should my readers suffer because others have a narrow mind? I hope this answers your question.
Well, that's it for this week. I -promise- that next week I'll be back with another fun-filled issue. Also, please feel free to send me any ideas you might have for the site or the articles. So, until next week!
|Monday, July 21st, 2003|
|The Comments Article
Hello, and welcome to another advice-filled article of 'Ask Bunny'! I've decided to take this week to respond to some of the responses that I've recieved in the past few weeks! ^_^ Let's get down to it, shall we? First, we'l begin with some comments about the site design:Dear Bunny,
Your site is really, really well done. Nice Flash work! If I ever have a furry related advice need, I'll come to you. :)
Wow, thank you for the compliment, but I can not take the credit. You see, the site design was ACTUALLY done by 5 Sec Interactive
. They have some nice site design skills, and i highly reccomend them. Though, to be honest, I'm thinking of changing to a standard frames setup in the next few weeks just so it's easier to read the previous articles.Dear Bunny,
I found your article about Anthrocon rather charming. It is good advice that you dispensed, although the one about the stinky friend is still a hard one to handle. I have not yet found a way to tell a person, "I cannot breathe around you," since it is not in my nature to deliberately hurt someone's feelings. And regarding the drug use, you put it very well. Keep it out of my con, and if you can't, you dang well better not let me find out about it. The people that I had to jump on last year were cheerfully bragging about it in their LiveJournals. They didn't really leave me much choice. That being said, I must return to work.
Dr. Samuel Conway
CEO of Anthrocon
Thank you for your kind words, Uncle Kage. I only hope my humble advice aided a few attendees at your convention this year.Dear Bunny,
In your July 7th Article, you had it all wrong! Straights are the majority! There's a whole lot of Heterosexual Furry Porn out there, and a great deal LESS Homosexual porn. To date, there has been 59 issues of GENUS, and there have been 2 Issues of GENUS Male. There is also the infamous ASB "Associated Student Bodies" and a few other Hard Gay magazines out there. If the Fandom is SO GAY who is buying all that Zig ZAg, Skunkworks, and misc other Hetro porn?
I believe you misunderstood the letter, FF. The questioner had been TOLD by another fur that 'you had to be gay' statement. It was not my advice, and it is most definently not my intention to persecute others due to their sexual preference. I am sorry you misunderstood the question, though, and will endevor to help make the letters clearer.Dear Bunny,
Now you can increase you penis size to over 14 inches with our new...
To quote Strong Bad from the hilarious Homestar Runner
Hmm, it's sad, you know? Even an advice columnist gets spam mail! I think, on that note, we'll say farewell for the day. Tune in next week when we answer more letters from you, our readers. Until next time!
|Sunday, July 13th, 2003|
|July 14th's Article - The Mostly Anthrocon Article!
Hello, my dear readers! Welcome to the Anthroccon Issue of 'Ask Bunny'! Before we begin, I think those who may not know about the convention may be interested in it's background. So, I went to the Anthrocon Website
for the full scoop!(The following information is from Anthrocon's Information Page and all rights to it is given to them.)
What is Anthrocon?
Anthrocon began as Albany Anthrocon in 1997, and since then has grown into one of the largest anthropomorphics conventions in the world. All the finer aspects of anthropomorphic, or more commonly, "furry" fandom, are celebrated here.
Anthrocon is a Pennsylvania-incorporated not-for-profit organization. It is controlled by a board of directors chaired by Dr. Samuel Conway, a scientist and author known in the anthropomorphics world as "Kagemushi" or more affectionately, "Uncle Kage."
The sole purpose of the organization is to operate a yearly convention in order to bring together those lovers of anthropomorphics from near and far, in a relaxed social atmosphere where all may feel welcome.
As a not-for-profit group, Anthrocon is dedicated to keeping its cost of attendance to a minimum. Only those funds necessary to support the preparations for the following year's convention are retained from any excess revenue. The remainder is delivered to an appropriate charitable institution.
Wow! I, for one, am impressed! Well, this weekend (July 18th thru the 20th) is the 2003 Anthrocon, and MOST of this week's questions are about this convention! Wow! So Uncle Kage, as you tell your stories, hopefully a few of the atendees to your con were helped by the following advice! With that said, let's begin!Dear Bunny,
I have been a part of the fandom for many years and feel like it's my home. Also, I am about to attend my first furry convention at Anthrocon. The problem is that I happen to be an artist, writer, and Onlone character held in rather high regard. As such I have, how shall we say, a small collection of fanboys. What would be a tactful way of telling the more persistant of my fans that I am not looking to be pestered, and am just (At the con) to enjoy myself without looking like a complete jerk?
Friendly Neighborhood Mouse
Ah, the adoring fanboys. On one hand, they love your art so much that you can allways rely on their money at a convention. On the other hand, they can be rather... 'insistant' at times when they meet the person they've worshipped from afar. The one thing you must allways remember it that no ALLWAYS
means no. Period. If you say no or ask them to leave, they must respect that or those strong Con Security members will take them aside and 'discuss' things with them.
When you get down to the heart of the matter, it's all about respect. If someone is bothering you, just tell them in a calm tone that they are making you feel uncomfortable and you'd prefer if they let you have some privacy. (Another trick is if you're drawing art, just tell them you need to focus on the comissioned pieces and will talk to them later.) The key is to allways stay calm and in control. If you give that up, then that's what leads to hurt feelings and anger. Hopefully this advice will aid you thru the weekend, and good luck in Artist's Alley! Dear Bunny,
I'm going to Anthrocon this weekend, and I have a problem. One of my friends will be staying in my room for the weekend, and he's a REALLY cool fur! The only problem is that he never wants to shower or even use underarm deoderant. As such, the smell scares a lot of people away. Plus, the smell really sinks into the room and everything in it. As such, I'm worried my fursits will end up having his funk. What can I do? Everything else about him is all right, he just doesn't BATHE! HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Squeaky Clean Ferret
I would suggest you talk one on one with your friend about this and suggest in a tactful manner that he might want to take a show each day while staying in your room. While he may feel offended at the suggestion, it's a far better thing to have a friend confront you on such a matter then to have the hotel staff confront confront him about his stench (And yes, some hotels WILL do this.) While he may not like or may forget to bathe at home, at a convention like this he should want to make a good impression on people. After all, who wants to be remembered for years to come as 'That smelly person whose stench made me want to projectile vomit my lunch' or something similar. Trust me, it may hurt, but it's far more humane to do this NOW than wait for someone else to.Dear Bunny,
Where can I stock up on Post-It Notes to cover up the naughty bits on my art! I need to get a LOT FAST!
If there isn't an Office Depot
near you, might I suggest hitting Target
? They should have MORE that enough in stock to fulfill your needs. ^_^Dear Bunny,
Last year some of my friends took some drugs at Anthrocon. While they didn't get caught, some other furs did and got banned for life from the con. I'm nervous that my friends may get caught and banned and I don't want them to. What can I do?
I would tell them that a convention is not the place to use drugs and reccomend they leave such substances at home. If they still feel the need to use them at the convention, reccomend that they stay in their rooms and tell NO ONE! Doing drugs at the convention WILL
get someone banned for life from the con and, worse, arrested. Whatever may happen, remember that it is NOT
your fault if they get caught with drugs. You told them not to do it, and if they still persisted then you are not to blame. On that note, let us get to the non-Anthrocon letter for this week!Dear Bunny,
Let's be blunt here, I'm a druggie, but I do a lot of stuff on a completely random basis. Basically I'm what the drug community refers to as a 'chipper'. I'm not addicted or dependant by any definition and so far, drugs have done nothing but good things for me. There's one problem, though, and it's not my two favorites (opiates and speed) like you'd expect - it's cigarettes. I like to smoke. I don't smoke often, but I like to smoke. My pack alpha, on the other hand, while he doesn't like the things I do in general, thinks that tobacco is the Antichrist. He's warned me that he'll be pissed off if I become a junkie, but he's also said he'd rather have me shooting heroin than smoking cigarettes. Frankly, that viewpoint baffles me. So I avoid heroin (granted, rather unhappily) and I still smoke, but I don't let him know I do. If he does ask, I lie. That's really starting to bother me as I hate to lie about anything. He knows everything else I do, but it's just the cigarettes I lie about. Ironic, huh? So, what should I do here? Should I just stop smoking and take him up on what he said? Or given that it's an occasional usage (once or twice every few months), should I just go along as I am and not worry about it? It's just the fact that I'm lying about something that bothers me. Help?
Coyote in Crisis
First off, for those readers not in circles with drug use, a 'Chipper' is one who uses drugs occasionally, like once every few weeks or months to relax. They're not addicted per se, but instead use them responsibly to 'relax and have fun'. Now, CIC, onto your problems! First off, the occasional cigarette should not be a problem with your pac alpha. Perhaps, if you sit down and talk to him about this, he and you can come to an agreement of sorts. I do think he's just looking out for your best intrests, but he also should respect that you ARE an adult and capable of making your own choices. After all, it is your body and you should decide what's done to it.
Now, as for the statement that tobacco is worse than heroin, that concept does puzzle me. It may have to do with the fact that while 'Heroin Chic' is still somewhat in fashion (Thin, lanky, androgenous males and females with pale, recessed faces), there has been a current upsurge of anti-tobacco propaganda in recent years to discourage youth and adults from smoking. As such, a lot of misinformation and dated data has been used to make it seem like tobacco is the worst thing in the world and people now see other drugs as less harmful. Once again, I reccomend sitting down in a neutral site and calmly talking with your Alpha about this. As long as it's the occasional smoke and it's away from him, I see no reason why he should worry himself about it. Even the Military has a 'Don't Ask, Don't Tell' policy, after all.
One thing about your letter worried me, though, and that was your mention of how much you miss heroin. It's quite possible that you may be showing the first signs of addiction, and if that's so it might be a good idea to look into rehab of some sort or visit a meeting of Narcotics Anonymous
. You seem like a nice Coyote, and I'd hate to see your life go downhill. While I can not force you to look into these options, I do hope that, when you're ready, you can look into your heart and decide when the time is right for you. Even as a chipper you will still suffer pulling away from Heroin, so others with the problem can help you thru it. Good luck, and keep safe.
And to the rest of my readers, have a good week! And to those going to Anthrocon, HAVE FUN!!!!!!!!!!
|Monday, July 7th, 2003|
|July 7th's Article
Welcome, my dear readers, to another fun-filled article! All of today's letters have a theme for once, so let's start in with our letters!Dear Bunny,
I'm a newbie to the furry community, and the other day I was told you had to be 'either a gay male or one of our fag hags' to be a real furry. Is this true?
Straight And Worried
Okay, SAW, let's look at the basics. The furry fandom, as a whole, has allways been very accepting of alternate sexualities. After all, when a portion of the fandom has SPECIES issues, the simple problem of what gender you may desire or want to become takes a back seat. And because of the fandom's accepting nature, a lot of gay males HAVE joined the fandom.
Now, to believe that you HAVE to be gay to be a furry fan is completly absurd! Being a furry fan simply means you have a fondness for anthropomorphic artwork, roleplay, cartoons, or the like. Anything else is just extra. I am sorry that someone told you such a hateful lie, and I hope you come to meet more positive members of the fandom in the future.Dear Bunny,
I'm a straight wolf in my early 20's and I have a problem. Recently a rabbit I'm friends with has been trying to get me to 'experiment' with him. I tell him know, but he keeps getting more and more insistant. How can I get him to stop bothering me?
No Means No
Well, NMN, at times some people will have a crush on another individual. While this can be a normal, healthy thing that can help people grow into healthier individuals. But sometimes people can take a crush too far, as in the case with your rabbit friend. The best thing to do is to calmly explain to them that you are just not interested in them in that way. If they still do not understand, it might be a good idea to put some temporary distance between you and your friend until they find someone more welcome to their advances. On that note, I wish you all a good week, and welcome you back next week for a new article.
|Monday, June 30th, 2003|
|June 30th's Article
Hello readers! This week's questions seem to be... Well, I can't describe it right, so I'm just going to go into them.Dear Bunny,
One of my friends has been really depressed recently, and I'm worried they might hurt themselves. What should I do, if anything, to help them?
Sympathetic Mule Deer
Depression is a difficult thing to deal with, SMD, both for the depressed person and
their friends. While I'd love to say that all your friend needs is your love and support, I can't lie to you like that. Your friend needs more help than you can give them right now... They need the help of a professional before they can hurt themselves. Now, when someone has depression, they don't allways need to go to a Psychologist. MOST of the time all they really need is just to talk to a councelor or anyone else trained to deal with problems like this. I know it hurts, but the best thing you can do, as a friend, is let those who are trained to deal with it do just that.
Now you don't have to just drop them off. As a friend, you can help in other ways. You can ber right there with them every step of the way. They need your love, support, and your understanding. Depression is a mental illness, and only with proper treatment can it be overcome. But it -can- be overcome. I do hope this helps, and I wish you luck with this.Dear Bunny,
You're *expletive deleted* ripping off Arty! You *expletive deleted*!
Ranting And Growling Eagle
I assume you're reffering to Ask Arty
RAGE, so let's cover this. Just as the world's newspapers has many, many advice columnists, so can the furry fandom. He and I have completly differing styles of answering letters, RAGE, and I feel we also cover different topics. He seem to be a wonderful fur, and I only hope that I can someday have as loyal readers as he seems to have. So, for the last time, did I 'rip off Arty'? No, I did not. But we both just happen to be furries who do advice columns. I prefer to think that if put into syndicated terms, I might be Dear Abby, and Arty would be Dan Savage
(And I think he might even like that analogy, too.). Anyhow, a BIG hug until next week and keep safe dear readers!
|Tuesday, June 24th, 2003|
|June 24th's Article
Oh, I've been a naughty bunny! I stood in line for over 4 hours to get the latest copy of Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix
Friday Night (Next time, dear readers, I shall pre-order!), and then proceeded to read the ENTIRE book! Yes! But, to my dismay, I realized that I was late on my article! Oh, no! This is a tragedy! So I do hope you forgive me for my tardiness, and I do promise to be more punctual in the future. NOW, onto the letters!Dear Bunny,
Every time I connect online I have people sending me death threats and DDOS attacks. There is a fur in the area that greatly dislikes me, and I don't know if they are behind it or not. I am unsure how to act, but I have stopped attending local furry gathers and cons due to not wanting to cause problems. How would you suggest I deal with this?
Troubled Lonely Cat
My word... When I first took on the duties of being the furry advice columnist, I did not expect some of the recent questions I have been getting! But alas, this poor lapine doth lament too much, and I am not adressing the real issue here. TLC, there are several things you must concider. First, DDOS attacks and similar actions are forms of hacking, and thus illegal in the United States, at least. If you can find proof of the attacks coming from an IP adress, you can usually have the user of that IP adress shut down by their ISP (Internest Service Provider).
Secondly, threats of violence or otherwise are HIGHLY
Illegal. For starters, if any of the harassers are local you are FULLY within your legal rights to get a restraining order. Yes, I know that it may not seem furry to get a restraining order. But which would you rather be: In fear for your life or safe and happy? Personally, this rabbit would rather stay alive and carefree, herself. Also, most police can not really do anything about such harassment UNTIL a restraining order has been placed because any subsequent harassment would be a violation of the restraining order and that person would go to JAIL.
Remember, if you live in the United States, then it is still your right to live your life as you choose. If others are denying you that right, then they are breaking the law and should pay for it. It's similar to if a neighbor were to start slicing your car's tires and began tossing rocks thru your window with notes attatched saying he or she was going to kill you. Would you stand for that? NO! You'd call the cops and have that person arrested? So why, for heaven's sake, would you tolerate the same treatment from fellow furs just because they're in the same fandom as you?
No matter what, TLC, YOU
should allways be your first concern. So my suggestion is to start logging info, use the police to aid you, and ignore those who would deny you the experience of being with other furs at meets and/or conventions. After all, your taxes pay their salary, so make those cops keep YOU safe and carefree from now on. It's the law, and everyone has to abide by it. Now, let me climb off my soapbox and we'll see what's next in our mailbox!Dear Bunny,
I really hope (the advice column) takes off, as it has a lot of potential. One slight issue I think I'd raise with Last Week's response to Worried Wombat is that by no means is all sexual abuse is rape. Anyhow, good luck!
Curious Buck Bunny
First off, thank you for the compliment. It does a lapine's heart good to hear her work spoken well of; especially when it's from another of the same species. Now, about the sexual abuse, I am aware that not all Sexual Abuse is rape. Sadly, though, due to amount of space needed to properly cover all the different variations of Physical, Mental, and Sexual Abuse, I was unable to go into as much detail as I'd hoped to. For clarification, Sexual Contact is not just rape, but ANY
Sexual Contact between two or more people that is unwanted. I do hope this clears up any questions.
Well, I'm going to go and re-read my new book, so until next week!
Bunny ^_^ Current Mood: embarrassed
|Monday, June 16th, 2003|
|June 16th's Article
Ah, welcome to this week's article of 'Ask Bunny'! This week's article starts out on a serious note. Dear Bunny,
A dear friend of mine (Whom I shall call Iguana from now on to help make this easier.) happens to be in a very abusive relationship, and he doesn't yet realize this fact. His mate abuses him physically and mentally, and yet my dear friend is so blinded by love that he ignores the abuse. Worse, Iguana's mate also mistreats and abuses other furs almost as badly as he abuses Iguana, yet when this is brought up my friend claims we just misunderstand his mate. What can I do?
Since this is such a serious topic, I think it best to DEFINE abuse before trying to suggest what to do about it. The Merriam-Webster Dictionary
defines Abuse as the following:Abuse
Etymology: Middle English, from Middle French abus, from Latin abusus, from abuti to consume, from ab- + uti to use
Date: 15th century
1 : a corrupt practice or custom
2 : improper or excessive use or treatment
3 obsolete : a deceitful act
4 : language that condemns or vilifies usually unjustly, intemperately, and angrily
5 : physical maltreatment
So, what does this mean, exactally? Well, to put it into simpler terms, abuse is when one person mistreats another. Primarily, in relationship standards, it can be classified into three (3) main catergories: Physical, Mental, and Sexual Abuse. Let's define these real quick before we go much further.Physical Abuse
This is the most common (And most noticable) form of abuse, and is simply when one partner in a relationship may strike and/or attack the other partner in a violent manner. Signs of this may be cuts, scrapes, bruises, and other injuries that, when asked about it, the person may seem defensive and come up with stories that don't quite match up. In order to instill domanance over their partner, someone who may use physical abuse may also use Mental Abuse, which we'll go into now.Mental Abuse
Mental Abuse (Also known as Emotional Abuse) is when someone uses a mixture of words, guilt, and actions to systematically destroy another's mental state. This is usually done by making the Abusee feel like they deserve
the treatment they recieve, and thus they will slowly drive themselves insane trying to be the 'perfect person' for their partner. This is the most common form of abuse, and is paired quite often with both Physical Abuse and our next topic, sexual abuse.Sexual Abuse
Sexual abuse, or rape as it's better known as, is actually a crime of power, NOT
a crime of sex. The rapist/abuser gets off on a feeling of power, so will use sex as a way to hurt their partner in the cruelest way they can. Unlike Physical and Mental abuse, those who are sexually abused may sometimes never recover fully from the act and are allways mentally scarred from the ordeal.
So, what do you do if you realize you or a friend are being abused. First, I reccomend giving the National Domestic Violence Hotline
(1-800-799-7233) a call. They have trained councelors on staff that know how to handle such a situation. Secondly, if there is a SEVERE threat to the person, GET THEM OUT OF THERE!
Third, have the abused call the police and file a report. It's ALLWAYS
important to use the law to your advantage. After all, it's there to help you. Finally, look into couceling for both the abusee AND the abuser. Abuse is a sickness of the mind, and only with counceling and hard work can someone be cured of it. I do hope this helps, WW, and I wish you and your friend the best of luck.
For More Information, I reccoment the following links:Self Realization PublicationsHope For HealingThe Internet Therapist
Whew, that was a long one! So, let's do a really short letter now, okay? ^_~Dear Bunny,
How old are you?
Um, no comment, NO. A bunny never reveals her age. But, suffice to say, I've no worries about grey fur because ALL my fur is grey! ^_^ Anyhow, see you next week and please keep sending those e-mails!
|Monday, June 9th, 2003|
|June 9th's Article
Welcome to our new home! My name is Bunny, and I am so glad you've come by my humble home on the net! ^_^
So, my first article! My first chance to answer the questions posed to me by you, my fellow furries. We do not have many letters for our first issue, but it -is- only our first article, no? Ah, but I seem to be forgetting myself here! Please, join me as we read our first letter:Dear Bunny,
I have been a furry fan for a long time, but I have a slight problem. Every time I spend time with other furries, I allways end up being told what everyone else is doing, I.E. who is sleeping with whom and what everyone is saying behind everyone else's back. I love spending time with other furs IRL, but I also dispise the back-stabbing and drama. What can I do to stop this?
Sick and Tired Of Problems
Well, STOP, this is a major problem in the furry fandom these days. The first thing you must do, if you truely want free of these things, is make it known that you do not wish to hear about it when it arises. Now note that this is going to be tough. When furs start talking about it in your presence, it will be up to you to first request they stop, and if they do not then leave with an apology.
Yes, I also am sad to report that in doing this, you may lose some 'friends' in the process. But you must also ask yourself if those are the kinds of friends you really want? Furs who spend all their time talking about everyone else, or those that like you for you? In the end, the choice is yours, STOP, and I dearly hope that you can remove yourself from the people who seem to be upsetting you.Dear Bunny,
What gives you the right to answer questions for furries?
Mysterious Anthropomorphic Dog
Well, MAD, that's a good question, though I must apologize for censoring your letter. You see, my sensitive eyes can't tollorate that much cursing and hate, but to each their own.
Seriously, nothing gives me the right to do it, to be honest. The only reason I started this website was because everyone I know, either furry or non-furry, has allways asked me for advice. Seeing this trend (And noticing that there was no one else doing it), I opted to start this website for those on-line who might also need assistance. So, to answer your question more eliquently, I took the initiative and built the site, set up the account, and started answering questions. In doing that, I guess I gave myself the right. ^_^
That seems a good place to stop for today? I must say thank you to everyone who comes to read the site, and I do hope to get more letters
to answer. Thank you, and I'll see you next week!